Just for fun: Hedgehog and condoms

© Forest Cat
[a fairy tale for adults]

Russian version

...There once was a hedgehog who was given a task to test condoms. Well, there were several well-known brands. Take it, they said, try it with someone, and describe all your feelings... But the thing is, he works as one of the editors of one well-known Internet portal for adults, so, as you understand, he could not refuse this task. It was a task of honor and, of course, of great responsibility. He came to the editorial office early in the morning, received a dozen of these items at the warehouse, pricked them on his own needles and went out to test them... As he was walking through the woods he thought that he wouldn’t manage it alone. “I’ll call the Bear for help” – he decided – “Our sizes are definitely different, there will be something to compare”. As he came to his den, Bear had already woken up. He didn’t think twice and agreed immediately. They also decided to call Bunny and Owl as test subjects. The first tried to categorically refuse, but they immediately explained to him that humans have such a thing as BDSM, and that if he continues to refuse, he will be forced to participate. Owl, having heard this, immediately agreed, saying that it’s better to agree out of love than through such perversions... And so, they found a nice lawn and began testing. Bunny groans, Owl moans, and Mouse with glasses sits nearby and carefully writes down everything that happens in a notebook... They also wanted to call the Clever Cat with a video camera to record what was happening, but felt shy and decided not to disturb him.

Durex and Sico were discarded immediately – either they got defective ones or they just didn’t feel like it, everyone knows everything about them, they are the most popular in the forest, and, as Owl said, are completely unfashionable.

Okamоto – exactly the most fashionable, they started fr om them. The mouse solemnly tore the packaging, sniffed it, wrote something in the notebook, and handed it over to the professionals. The first estimates were cautious: too big for Hedgehog, too small for Bear, rather dry for Owl. Only Bunny really liked it, but only because it didn’t come to him that way. After some time, of course, everyone tried it, but the verdict remained the same – not bad, but not great. And it is not clear why some local animals praise them so much.

Then they took Unilatex and Maxus. Hedgehog was very pleased, Owl was thoughtful, and Bear did not even try it. That is – he opened it, but then looked at the size and did not bother. Bunny was traditionally happy with everything. The general verdict: both are cute and neat, there is a choice of corrugations, perhaps suitable for those who want to try something new. A separate prize from Owl for packaging, this beautiful iron box will always remain in her purse.

VITALIS stood in a separate category. With their ability to prolong and cool at the same time, they delighted both Owl and Bunny. Hedgehog was thoughtful, but Bear did not try again. Overall rating - interesting. Strange and unusual. To those who have already tried everything else it is recommended certainly. If you do not believe it, ask Owl, she will confirm anything if you give her that box.

And then a separate word was taken by Bear who tried two positions: the first – MY.SIZE in sizes 64 and 69, and the second – the Trojan Magnum Bareskin, completely unknown in their local forest. He was testing them for so long and so carefully that everyone got their lot. Bunny (who now even loved his new role), and Owl (who still flies through the forest with blurred eyes), and even Hedgehog himself (only he asked not to disclose what he had to experience). Bear’s Verdict – the best. Magnum bareskin is an ideal choice, large, silky to the touch, sits perfectly and does not distract attention at all. MY.SIZE – in the second place. Too much grease – not only on the outside, but also on the inside, and it’s not very convenient. But their entire size range is simply perfect for all those who have not yet decided on their size, but alas, there is nothing to measure with.

Feel free to start with this brand. Bear said. ©

...And in the evening, when the it was cool and dark, all the animals calmed down and lay down each in their sun loungers. They ordered pina-coladas and cozy rugs, and then again, very carefully and as much as possible told all their emotions to the Mouse who, blushing deeply and barely breathing recorded everything. Only Hedgehog hastily shifted from paw to paw, glancing at the thickening darkness and was in a hurry go to the editorial office, wh ere his important bosses were sitting and waiting for the test results...

...

Total – Size / Lubrication / Smell

** P.S.: That’s the end of our fairy tale. And the author of this humorous parable is the same Cat who was nevertheless called to the party, and after that he was asked to state how everything happened. The whole story is fictitious, but the conclusions are quite real. Test those yourself and let’s compare our sensations!

Moscow. February 2020 © Forest Cat. Special for SexShopers.ru.