Sex after womb removal

Text: anonymous
Image: freepik.com

Russian version

Disclaimer: the article describes the author’s unique experience and does not pretend to trump anyone else’s judgment.

The reasons why the doctor tells a woman to undergo hysterectomy can be numerous and actually they do not matter. The reason why the woman follows this advice does not matter either. In my case the skyrocketing growth of myomas was the reason. I am 45 and having another baby was not my plan. I cannot even imagine how hard it can be for a woman at childbearing age to think about such a surgery. Even for me it was extremely hard to take this decision. I was lying in my bed awake wondering: whether to remove or to opt for conservative treatment. The whole list of fears I had heard over lifetime became suddenly alive in my mind: “a woman without womb is no more human”, “early menopause”, “hollow vessel” and other similar phrases were disturbing me and impeded taking the reasonable decision. A friend of mine said: “Are you mad? Let us ask for a second opinion! Or third, if necessary!” My sister was ready to support any decision I should take. My mom prohibited telling my husband about the surgery, scaring me and saying he would certainly leave me after that. Spoiler: it was I who left him afterwards- a fact that has nothing to do with the surgery.

However, the doctor’s phrase that myomas’ growth is very likely to reoccur helped me to stop thinking it over and over again, back and forth.

So, in December, last year, the word “hysterectomy” appeared in my hospital records. The surgery was made under general anesthesia and it was a keyhole surgery. The surgeon removed my womb and the fallopian tubes while my eggs stayed with me.

These are just records. As for my emotions, they were so much more. That was a difficult surgery, all kidding aside.

A surgery is always full of risks. Even nowadays, in the 20s of the 21^st century, no one can predict if something goes wrong. In my case almost everything went wrong. Nevertheless, I am grateful to my doctor, anesthesiologists, recovery specialists, nurses and everyone who assisted with my survival.

A week after my husband came to the hospital to pick me up.

On our way home, I smiled to the driver of the nearby car, showing with my eyes that we were intended to change the lane and enter before him. “For you, girls, it is too easy: a trick of darting glances and you got yourself a deal”, my husband dropped. “Is that easy for us? Was that easy for me???” I burst into tears hysterically. After all the sleepless nights searching for the right decision... After an extremely serious surgery that went wrong... After a respiratory failure during surgery and another one afterwards, in the emergency room. And I hear my husband saying it is too easy for us-girls. Really? I could have told him everything I was thinking at that moment but I said something unexpected: “Pay me a psychotherapist. I feel unable to go on without”.

My personal experience shows that psychotherapy is the best kind of support after a surgery. It took me almost three months to recover my physical body and my psychological recovery took me half a year.

I am writing this article 10 months after the surgery and this fact makes it possible for me to draw conclusions regarding the changes in my sexual life.

I dared to masturbate 3 weeks after stitches had been removed. I delightfully noticed that arousal went back, I did my usual job with my clitoris and I was able to cum.

In brief: It was painful. I felt sharp pain around the former stitches and during two weeks I did not risk repeating that experience. A certain period after I felt ok and I started experimenting.

The first intercourse took place two month later. It was then when I realized my sensations had changed for unusual. After hysterectomy, pelvic floor organs lower to take a new position, so you feel no hollow in your abdomen anymore just after a month. Saying “my sensations changed” I mean the following: vaginal walls sensitivity increased while my clitoris grew less sensitive. What also changed are the masturbation techniques and the climax itself. I used to prefer vacuum stimulators and now I am pretty satisfied with a wand and I definitely like this fact much more. I do not know why it happened so, I just had to adapt. My libido decreased a bit, I no longer feel starved without sex, still I feel aroused while watching films or with men around me.

Lubrication supply changed too. I never used to need additional lube, now I need it with growing frequency. I am not sure whether my age is to blame or it is just the result of surgery. Anyway, this is my personal experience, it may differ from yours.

Besides, I fell suddenly in love with clitoral gels, they do a nice job in my case but I didn’t use to like them.

Among the medical articles I had read before hysterectomy I came across an American study about the impact of such surgery on the female body. There were columns with figures and statistics and I found that 4% of women faced a very rapid menopause developing within 1 year after surgery. My ovaries are still with me, as long as they do their work, no menopause will occur.

I have no periods or unwanted pregnancy risk either. This is definitely an advantage.

Sex has always been significant in my life and among my fears was the “no-more-sex-after” fear. Now I can state: sex is still alive after hysterectomy. My husband says he feels no changes when he is inside. As for me, I enjoy both the foreplay and the frictions.

All I worry about currently is whether I should tell my new partner that I have no womb. Or not? What is the use of giving excessive information if this fact makes no difference during sex?