Ten popular dating scams

Text by Maria Chesnokova

Russian version

Various people helped me write the post, telling about their experiences. Forewarned is forearmed. All the scams that I will describe are quite old – however, they still exist and mutate according to realities.

1. Taxi payment

You get to know a potential sex partner, the conversation is going well, the contact is established, the exchange of hot messages is also there, and at a certain moment the partner is ready to come to your place. However, he or she asks for a transfer of a small amount of money to pay for a taxi. In the overwhelming majority of cases, after receiving the funds, all contacts are cut off.

Protection method: no transfers, only a taxi call with payment by card. If a person really wants to come, this option will be ok.

2. Cinema (hookah bar)

The potential partner is ready to meet and does not ask for a taxi. He or she wants to meet in an intimate and non-trivial setting. For example, in a mini-cinema, with individual rooms, where no one interferes, and you can order drinks and food. Recently, hookah bars have been used instead of cinemas. You are given a link to a site of a network of such places with discounts and promo bonuses. You only need an advance booking with a prepayment. If you pay, then in 99% of cases, contacts are cut off and the site turns out to be a dummy.

Protection method: check all sites. If the address is indicated, then do not be lazy to consult the map, what is located there. And if the potential partner really insists on meeting there, then this is also a signal. The meeting place should be chosen according to the mutual agreement of both partners.

3. Scamming LGBT+ persons

Here, the most common trick is the use of a photo and correspondence for blackmailing and threatening with a forced coming-out (which is often very traumatic for LGBT +, given our homophobic society). It's even worse when homophobes meet in real life dating with queer people to beat them or even rape. Please be careful and take care of yourself!

Method of protection: meetings should always happen in the place that you know and where there are good acquaintances of yours, for example, your favorite bar. It is safer to chat in a dating app without sharing your social networks account or a phone number.

4. Scam with drugs

An attractive girl wants to meet you for sex and is ready to spend the night with you if you have some chemistry, and asks to take them along to have a pleasant night. On the spot, the police meets you and searches you. The problem is solved with a certain sum of money.

Means of protection: no talking about drugs with strangers, and no meeting in such circumstances.

5. Sympathy Card players

Usually these are men (less often women) fr om America/Europe, whose partner tragically died in an accident/from cancer, they have a teenage child, but they do not live with him and are very bored, work as a doctor / nurse / military man in Israel / Africa / etc. under contract with the UN. After such a heartbreaking story, they ask to be contacted by email and there they start cheating for money. Or they say, for example, that they will come to Russia if you give them money for the ticket, and upon arrival they will definitely return it. Such scammers mainly target people over the age of 40.

Method of protection: never send money to strangers. If you are too susceptible for pity, then try working on personal boundaries with a therapist to avoid getting involved in such stories.

6. Photo scam

This scam is as nervous and unpleasant as possible. While chatting on dating sit\app, you can exchange photos, fantasies or nudes. Then you are lured away into social networks – to Facebook, Instagram, VK. After that, they begin to blackmail you threatening to send your photos and correspondence to friends and acquaintances.

Method of protection: do not give links to social networks to strangers, communicate strictly in a dating app. Telegram/VK/Facebook/Instagram accounts should have different names, so it will be more difficult to find you. The safest thing is Telegram – there you can hide your name and phone number, and there you can send self-destructing messages. And the main thing. NEVER send a nude with your face, tattoo or other identifiable body part.

7. Payment for the apartment

You are going to meet and have sex, the person persistently asks to rent a certain apartment, and does not agree to other options for hotels or apartments. He asks to transfer money either to him\her or directly to the owner (in contact with him\her). He\she insists that he\she is worried about safety, and is confident in this apartment. After the payment, of course, the person disappears.

Method of protection: the first meeting should be in a neutral place, such as a bar, a cafe, then a mutual choice of an apartment / hotel. If a person leaves the meeting and insists to meet immediately in the apartment, this is a scam.

8. Minors

A man meets a girl and after a while their communication goes intimate. When a sufficient amount of information is collected, he is informed that the girl is underage, and if he does not pay a huge amount of money, then a criminal case will be initiated against him. Another story: a really underage girls or a guy get to know older men without advertising their age, after sex they start to blackmail him\her for huge sums of money, this blackmail can last for years, and the victim is forced to pay so as not to be imprisoned.

Method of protection: contact a good lawyer if you are being blackmailed by correspondence with minors. If you are dating a young-looking girl, do not hesitate to ask for her passport, this is completely normal. Lifehack: if you are embarrassed to ask for a passport, then go to the store together and ask the girl to buy alcohol\cigarettes, saying that you have forgotten your documents.

9. Blackmail with “rape”

The girl meets a guy, has sex, and then, under the threat of filing a rape report, extorts money. She can act both alone and as part of a group.

Method of protection: again, you need a good lawyer. I do not know if this works in Russia, but the smartphone video wh ere that the girl agrees to have sex with you might be able to make your life easier.

10. Virtualists

People who make appointments somewhere in neutral territory, but don't come to the meeting. They do not want anything, they don’t ask you for money, they just do petty sabotage. In the same category are fakes that turn out to be not the ones described in the profile. Correspondence with these people is also cloudy. Sometimes they ask for your intimate photos, but when they throw off theirs – they appear to be taken somewhere from the Internet (it is easy to check by searching google pictures).

Method of protection: wish them no sex in the next couple of years, karma will catch up with them).